"Cuffs With Pleats? Really?"

You would think that having a tailor replace some blazer buttons and hem a pair of trousers wouldn't require arguing with the tailor, but you'd be wrong.

As part of a recent and long overdue clothes buying spree, I bough a new blue blazer and a pair of gray flannel trousers. I have a set of blazer buttons I wanted taken off my old blazer and put on the new one. But the new blazer has three buttons on each sleeve and I have only two buttons per sleeve. I tell the guy where I want the two buttons sewn on each sleeve and he starts arguing with me, says it won't look right (never mind that's how they were on the old jacket!) and I pretty much have to promise not to tell anyone I meet who sewed them on the way I want them lest his reputation as the finest tailor along this dilapidated strip mall in a seedy part of town suffer.

Then I have to tell him that, yes, I do want the original blazer buttons back, as the day will come when I retire this blazer, too, and he finds the whole idea extremely odd as though I asked for the shreds of thread they'd been sewn on with back as well.

On to the slacks. They're a 36" waist which is a bit tight on me but a 38" is too loose. Maybe I should have ordered them in a 38" to be taken in but I'd prefer to think I'll be losing weight this year, not gaining any more, so slight snugness is part of my dieting strategy. He seems dubious about this strategy and on this point I can't say I blame him.

So I'm standing on the platform (why do tailors need a platform barely four inches higher than the floor?) and without asking he starts to mark them with no break and no cuffs. I tell him I want a slight break and 1 1/4" cuffs as God intended man to wear dress slacks. He says "But the pants don't have pleats." Relieved, since I didn't order pleated slacks, I agreed with him but reiterated I wanted cuffs. Apparently, that's not the current fashion. So again I assume the risk of being unfashionable, reassure him that I'll never ever mention the name of Hana Tailor on Garland Avenue to a living soul and we're done.

I tell you, buying off-the-rack clothes can be sheer hell!