Every fifty years, just like clockwork, the Queen of England shows up at my alma mater, originally named “Their Majesties’ Royall Colledge of William and Mary in Virginia.” Founded in 1693, William & Mary discreetly dropped the “Their Majesties’ Royall” part after a bit of trouble with England back in the 1770s and then at some unknown point finally noticed and corrected the “Colledge” typo, too. Needless to say, the real King William and Queen Mary have long ago, as my Baptist relatives would say, gone to glory and, just like my rich Uncle D.A., left not so much as a farthing in their wills to the College, either. Still, the royal name remains and suffices for subsequent English monarchs to drop by when they’re in the neighborhood.
As was Elizabeth II, here to help honor the 400th anniversary of the founding of Jamestown (as she was for the 350th) and soon to be dropping in at the White House for tea and chicken-fried steak sandwiches. No word yet on whether any of Pocahontas’s
I’m not sure what value the perpetuation of royalty still contributes to Great Britain. Some argue it is important as a matter of national identity, others argue it helps tourism. Maybe. It’s their business and not mine, in any case. I frankly feel a little sorry for Elizabeth Windsor. By all accounts she’s had a pretty stressful and a pretty boring life. Most celebrities find at least some private space where they can kick off their shoes and scratch where it itches, but I get the impression this poor woman needs to retreat to the smallest room in the palace to get that sort of privacy.
Our own Founding Fathers, who themselves have taken on a sort of Arthurian mythos by now, were pretty clear that titles of nobility were a bad idea for the new republic and made a point of making them unconstitutional. Of course, between the progressives’ notion of a “living Constitution” and our own George II’s increasingly imperial view of the presidency, this might not last much longer. Still, we tend to reserve our fawning admiration for actors, musicians and athletes whose celebrity can in at least some tenuous sense be said to have been achieved rather than inherited. Heck, these days it’s hardly worth even being born a Kennedy any more.
Other people’s royalty, on the other hand, continue to fascinate Americans. Many of us are impressed even by such minor honorifics as knighthoods and take to calling actor Anthony Hopkins “Sir Anthony” at the drop of a fava bean. Hopkins is a fine actor, but let’s face it, his stardom and hence his knighthood rests on having played the world’s most famous psychotic cannibal. (Lucky for Helen Mirren, I suppose, she got her damehood in 2003, long after the death of Elizabeth I and before her staring role in The Queen.) Though far from a psychotic cannibal, one has to wonder whether Mick Jagger quite personifies the knightly ideals of chivalry, either. Oh well, there’s always been a bit of supply and demand about these things. According to Debrett's Peerage & Baronetage, in the 13th century knights were expected to do military service and so many men therefore declined the honor that King Henry III began imposing fines on those who refused.
Anyway, while her Virginia visit is already concluded and you’re probably not invited to the big white-tie dinner at the White House on Monday, just in case you do bump into the Queen while she’s in the U.S. (she’s going to the Kentucky Derby, I hear), the Commonwealth of Virginia has posted a brief royal etiquette guide.
Oh, and if you are going to be at the White House Monday night and especially if you’re going to be hosting the dinner, I thought I might add a few more etiquette tips to the list:
1. Do not refer to your Guest of Honor as Queenie.
2. Do not have Queen’s Greatest Hit’s piped in over the White House stereo.
3. Do not invite the Queen to “pull my finger.” (The Duke of Edinburgh does this all the time at the palace and it really ticks the Queen off.)
4. Do not refer to the twins as “my own princess problems, if you know what I mean?”
5. Do not demand she show you a Five Pound note to prove it’s really her.
6. Do not ask her if it’s true J.K Rowling is worth a lot more than she is now.
7. Do not serve Steak Diane.
8. Do not offer a summer vacation swap of the White House for Buckingham Palace.
9. Do not ask if Prince Charles is planning to run for king when she retires. And finally,
10. Do not ask if she has any suggestions where you and Laura can get a good price on a couple of crowns.
4 comments:
I do check you at least every other day to see what DAR is pithing on about, but wanted to alert you that this post I noted at memeorandum.
No word yet on whether any of Pocahontas’s ancestors were invited either to the Jamestown celebration or the White House fête or whether discussion of lax immigration laws are on the agenda.
Even if they were invited, I doubt any of them will be attending, except in spirit.
Hopkins is a fine actor, but let’s face it, his stardom and hence his knighthood rests on having played the world’s most famous psychotic cannibal.
You mean it wasn't for his portrayal of Prince Richard (later knows as "Lion Hearted") in "The Lion in Winter"? For example, his response of "Let's strike a flint and find out" when his brother John (later of Magna Carta fame) complained that "if I went up in flames there's not a living soul who'd pee on me to put the fire out."
Oops! Okay, descendants. My subsequent understanding is that various Indian representatives have been involved in the Jamestown celebrations.
As for Hopkins's role in The Lion In Winter, I can speak only for myself here, Seamus, and say I subsequently discovered that was Hopkins only after Silence of the Lamb. Prior to that, my answer to who played Prince Richard even after being given his name would have been "Who?"
Post a Comment