From the home office at the Crawfish Ranch, the Top Ten surprises in Scott McClellan's new White House exposé, What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington's Culture of Deception, are:
10. Cabinet meetings scheduled in president’s calendar as “keggers”
9. George Stephanopoulos’s secret stash of hair grooming products left behind podium includes "industrial strength mousse"
8. Flight jacket worn during “Mission Accomplished” speech borrowed from Indiana Jones
7. Karl Rove quit in disgust when polls showed public thought Cheney more evil
6. After hunting accident, Vice President Cheney’s wife Lynne heard to comment “His gun still fires? News to me.”
5. No one on White House staff has ever seen vice president between dawn and sundown
4. President overjoyed that The Hottie & The Nottie finally released on DVD
3. Staff panicked when president rehearsed Axis of Evil speech and kept saying “Iraq, Iran and North Dakota”
2. Secret Service code name for Vice President? “Mr. Burns”
And the number one surprise in Scott McClellan’s new White House “Tell All”:
1. President still pondering last minute third term run
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