The Naked and the Nearly Dead

Here's some news you probably can't use. Nudist resorts have "become increasingly upscale." What's a young, budget minded nudist to do? More to the point, what must an increasingly graying nudist community with a median age of 55 do to keep from becoming "a gated assisted living community"?

To draw 20- and 30-somethings, nudist groups and camps are trying everything from deep discounts on membership fees to a young ambassador program that encourages college and graduate students to talk to their peers about having fun in the buff.

Think of it as the Baby Boomer naturalist's equivalent of Ladies Night at the local watering hole.

I wish them luck, 'cause I have every reason to think they're going to need it. If I were a twenty-something still, it would take more than a deep discount to get me to spend my leisure time amidst entirely dishabille fifty-somethings no matter how upscale the accomodations. In fact, you'd jolly well have had to pay me to wander in their midst, and that's even taking into consideration that I was no prime specimen in my 20's either.

To each his own. My own, however, is that the overwhelming majority of us look better at any age with our clothes on, and the advance of years, if anything, only increases this tendency. It has nothing to do with modesty, mind you. I'm not saying the human body in all its varieties is ever dirty; I'm saying it's usually ugly. Moreover, I base this conclusion on no small amount of empirical data. I've been to beaches so close to nude it's hardly worth mentioning the difference. Nor am I shy about my own body in particular, such as it is. I merely recognize the simple fact that it looks better altogether clothed than in its altogether. So, almost certainly, does yours, and if it doesn't yet, it soon will.

Then there's this whole "back to nature" aspect of nudism; hence, the "naturalist" synonym. Well, sorry, but nature isn't your friend and you shouldn't encourage it any more than necessary. The whole point of civilization, in fact, is to avoid or defeat the many distasteful, unpleasant or downright dangerous aspects of nature.

Sooner or later, nature wins. I prefer later to sooner, however. What's more, I plan on siding with civilization until the bitter end.